Va Va Voom! Women's Sexual Health Sat, 28 Jun 2014 06:12:07 +0000 en-US hourly 1 4 Common Causes of Painful Sex Mon, 27 Jan 2014 14:33:47 +0000 The last thing any couple expects when they become sexu […]

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The last thing any couple expects when they become sexually active is for sex to be painful. But for some women, sex is so painful that having intercourse is not physically possible. Though experts believe the number to be greater due to women not reporting, statistics show that roughly two out of every thousand women are unable to consummate a relationship sexually.

There are many factors that can cause sex to be painful, but we wanted to give you the top four reasons women experience painful sex.

1.     Inadequate Lubrication

Sex is almost always going to be painful for any woman, regardless of her sexual health, if she does not have sufficient lubrication. Sometimes the cause is simply not having enough foreplay before having intercourse. Other times, insufficient lubrication is hormonally induced. Low estrogen directly impacts a woman’s natural lubricating ability. A woman may have low estrogen levels as she approaches menopause or if she has recently given birth or is breast-feeding. VaVaVoom offers an array of safe lubricating products on our website.

2.     Injury, Trauma, or Surgery

Sometimes, a pelvic injury, having pelvic surgery, or undergoing a surgical procedure like an episiotomy can cause a woman to experience pain during sex. In many cases, the pain a woman experiences will subside after a period of time. If pain persists, however, you should talk with your doctor.

3.    Genital Inflammation or Infection

Having a urinary tract infection or other inflammation in your or genital area can cause sex to be painful for most women. Also, having medical conditions in the genital area, such as eczema or skin disorders, can also cause sex to be painful. If you think you might suffer from one a condition that is causing your genital region to be inflamed, please talk with your OBGYN.  She can prescribe medication to treat the condition and help your painful sex become pain free.

4.    Vaginismus

Vaginismus is a condition in which a woman experiences involuntary spasms of the muscles in her vaginal wall. Vaginismus can make attempts at penetration very painful, difficult, and sometimes impossible. Many women suffering from vaginismus believe they are to blame, but the condition is INVOLUNTARY. Interestingly, studies have found that women between the ages of 15 and 24 have approximately a 50% higher chance of experiencing vaginismus than other women.

Many women suffer in silence, going months and even years without having intercourse with their spouse. We believe a healthy marriage relationship consists of a healthy sex life, and going without sex can  bring other problems into the relationship. Vaginismus is almost always 100% treatable and reversible, so if you or someone you know is suffering from these symptoms, make an appointment with your gynecologist today.

- Dr. Shelly Messer

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Why Does Sex Hurt After Menopause? Mon, 06 Jan 2014 14:50:40 +0000 Sex is a lot like wine. For most people, it gets better […]

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Sex is a lot like wine. For most people, it gets better with age. Though the old adage “practice makes perfect” might not be completely accurate when it comes to sex, practicing it frequently over time certainly can make it better. As anyone who has been enjoying a healthy sex life for a while can attest, the more practice you put in, the more enjoyable it becomes.  That is why so many menopausal and postmenopausal women find it so perplexing that sex becomes painful as they age, though it hasn’t ever been before.  No matter how much foreplay a couple may have or what things her partner does to attempt to arouse her, sex still hurts many women once menopause begins.

Vaginal dryness is one of the leading ways that menopause can negatively impact a woman’s sex life. And though it impacts a lot of women, many of them don’t admit it. The results from an international survey presented in 2009 by the pharmaceutical firm Novo Nordisk at the European Congress on Menopause in London were eye-opening. The survey reported that seven out of ten women find themselves too embarrassed to tell their doctor that they are experiencing vaginal dryness and pain during sex. So, they silently suffer, thinking they’re alone.

The survey also revealed that 39%, or just over one third, of postmenopausal women are experiencing the signs and symptoms of vaginal atrophy. Of the women who admitted that vaginal dryness and pain were so severe that it negatively impacted their sex life, it is alarming to think that of the 40% who admitted to experiencing painful sex, only 30% of those women feel comfortable sharing those details with their physician. What that means is that only a tiny percent of women suffering from painful sex due to vaginal dryness actually talk about it with their physician and get the help they need.  Perhaps the most revealing detail coming out of this study is that over one third of women surveyed, who experienced vaginal dryness and painful sex, had no idea that treatment was available to help them.

The frustrating fact remains; far too many women suffer unnecessarily in silence. Had they only told their physician that they were experiencing vaginal dryness and that sex was painful, their doctor could help. The pain could be eradicated and their pleasure of sex returned. This study is not unique to the findings in the United States, and even right here in Arizona. Of the many women I talk to who finally divulge they’re experiencing vaginal dryness and pain with the onset of menopause, I am certain there are hundreds more keeping that information to themselves.

There are many treatment options available for menopausal and postmenopausal women who are experiencing painful sex.  The common symptoms of painful intercourse, vaginal dryness, burning, and vaginal itching are often due to a woman’s body producing decreasing amounts of estrogen. Your doctor can prescribe hormone therapy to help.

Along with any medical treatments your physician may prescribe, Vavavoom also offers many safe, water-based lubricating products that can help.  A lubricating product such as Sliquid Satin can do wonders for helping combat vaginal dryness, naturally restore vaginal tissue, and decrease pain during sex. Whether you are premenopausal or postmenopausal, if you are suffering from painful sex, please do not suffer in silence one moment longer. Contact our office today and make an appointment so that, like a great bottle of wine, your sex life will truly get better with age.

- Dr. Shelly Messer


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Remember The Romance: 5 Winter Date Ideas Mon, 16 Dec 2013 12:07:31 +0000 With the holiday season upon us, it is easy to get so s […]

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With the holiday season upon us, it is easy to get so swept up in the hustle and bustle and forget to spend quality time with the special someone in our life. As the saying goes, our relationship has an “emotional bank” that operates much like our checking account; the more quality time and loving, respectful effort you put in, the higher the account grows. Things like not spending quality time, not treating one another respectfully, or saying things that are hurtful serve as emotional withdrawals, quickly pushing the relationship balance towards the negative. The “emotional withdrawals” seem to be valued at a higher rate, so it doesn’t take long for neglected relationships to go bankrupt if we’re not careful.

When our relationship is in the fiscal red, romance is typically the furthest thing from our mind.  Because of that, we need to be intentional with our time with our special someone and make sure we’re doing the things to keep the spark alive. Here are some date ideas to help you remember the romance with your special someone this winter.

1.     Snuggle Up with a Cozy Movie Night

There is no rule that says a date night to remember the romance has to be expensive and out on the town. You can stay in the comforts of your own home, making your own intimate movie night together. You can wait until the kids are in bed and spend quality time snuggling together watching a movie you both enjoy. Select a movie you already own, rent one from Redbox, or stream one from one of the many companies offering streaming movies for rent or free.  Depending on what you prefer, you can keep it simple and pop some microwave popcorn or uncork a bottle of wine and have appetizers or dessert.

2.     Tour a Museum or Go to the Theater

Another great option to remember the romance is a date to take in the local arts and history. There are many wonderful museums around the valley. No matter what you’re interested in, with options ranging from local city museums sharing the history of the town you live to the bigger museums ranging from natural history, science, to music history, there is something bound to spark your interest. You can even catch a play, musical, or ballet together.

3.     Go to a Coffee Shop

Many of us spent many hours in coffee shops in younger years, passing time and making memories with friends or spending time on dates. Why not remember the romance and go get your favorite beverage, settle into a comfy chair, and spend time together just talking over your favorite variety of coffee? For added fun and to help support local business, look for a locally owned coffee shop and make it a date, trying out a new place. You never know; it may become a new favorite.

4.     Bundle Up and Go Ice Skating

Living in the desert, we often forget about participating in winter activities people in cold weather climates do, like skiing or ice skating. But, what better time of year to remember the romance in your relationship than to bundle up and head to an ice skating rink? The mere act of holding hands or clinging on to one another to keep from falling will certainly bring many laughs.

5.     Take a Drive 

Wintertime is a great time to take a drive in the desert. You can pick up a cup of coffee and take a drive, just the two of you. You can opt for a mini-road trip destination for a fun-filled day date or you can wait until nighttime and meander through neighborhoods looking at the holiday lights. Having time alone together in the car can help you remember the romance by spending time doing something most of us rarely take time to do, talk. You can talk through topics in more detail, talk about goals you may have together, or make plans for the coming months.

Whatever you opt to do to remember the romance with your special someone this winter, be sure to make time for uninterrupted time together. It is imperative we spend time investing in our relationships, making those emotional deposits. Doing so will certainly pay off in huge dividends as we stoke the fire of romance, keeping the spark alive.


- Dr. Shelly Messer


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Safe Sex During Pregnancy Mon, 02 Dec 2013 12:00:59 +0000 It is a little ironic. Sex causes pregnancy, but many p […]

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It is a little ironic. Sex causes pregnancy, but many people become afraid to have sex once they find out they are pregnant. We have heard some fears over the years that have made us giggle. One man was afraid if he had sex while his wife was pregnant, he might hurt the baby, stabbing it with his penis. Another soon to be dad was terrified to have sex with his partner after they learned they were having a little girl. He began to worry that the sperm could impregnate his daughter before she was even born! As much as those far-fetched fears can make us giggle and we want to send those guys back to sex education class in elementary school, many people do wonder if it is actually safe to have sex during pregnancy. So, we wanted to set straight some misconceptions and talk about the times when it could be dangerous to have sex while pregnant.

Sex During Pregnancy

For most women, there is no reason to alter your sex life once you find out you are pregnant. Sex is a natural part of your relationship with your partner and is important for maintaining intimacy, even with all of your body’s changes. As your belly grows during pregnancy, certain sexual positions may be less comfortable than others, so it is important to have open and honest communication with your partner about what works for both of you as your body is changing. If you find sex to be uncomfortable because of vaginal dryness during pregnancy, hormones may be to blame.  It is safe to use water-based lubricants for more comfortable intercourse if needed.

Sex cannot harm your baby since it is well protected- in your uterus surrounded by amniotic fluid. Also, it is important to note that the contractions from orgasm are not the same as the contractions your uterus has during labor. However, if you have any pain during intercourse or if you experience strong contractions following sex that persist, you should go to the hospital. Also, if you experience any heavy vaginal bleeding or if your water breaks during sex, you should go to the hospital.

When Sex Can Be Dangerous

There are certain scenarios when your doctor may advise you not to have sex while you are pregnant. Doing so could jeopardize the viability of your pregnancy. If you have a history of miscarriages, your doctor may advise against having sex during your first trimester.  If you are at risk for pre-term labor, that is having active contractions before you reach 37 weeks in your pregnancy, your doctor may advise against having sex. Your doctor may also advise against you having sex if you are experiencing any vaginal bleeding, discharge, or cramping during your pregnancy without an obvious instigator.

There are some women whose cervix begins to dilate too early in their pregnancy. There are also cases where some women have a condition known as placenta previa, when the placenta is attached too low in the uterus, close to the cervix. In either of these situations during your pregnancy, your doctor will advise you to refrain from sex because it can lead to preterm or uncontrolled labor and heavy bleeding that could put the health- and survival- of your baby at risk.

If your doctor advises you to abstain from sex during your pregnancy, you should make sure you ask her for clarification on specifically what that means for you. Because the risks are different depending on your specific medical condition, you need to understand if your doctor means no penetration, no orgasm, or steering clear from anything that could cause you to become aroused. As mentioned above, since it is not only your health, but also the health of your baby that could be placed at risk, it is vital to understand- and follow- the instructions your doctor gives you.

Maintaining Intimacy

Sex is an important part to maintaining intimacy in a relationship. Pregnancy can certainly pose its challenges for maintaining sexual intimacy. Whether it is instructions from your doctor to abstain from sex or it’s the discomfort of pregnancy that get in the way of your wanting- or enjoying- sex with your partner, it is still important to remember to incorporate things to maintain intimacy in your relationship. Don’t forget that intimacy and affection might also be expressed in other ways than by having intercourse. You can remember the romance (LINK TO RTR PAGE) and snuggle together to watch a movie or go on a long walk around the neighborhood holding hands. Or, depending on your doctor’s orders, you may engage in intimacy within the safe boundaries established for you.

- Shelly Messer


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How Hormones Can Spice Up-or Squelch- Your Sex Drive Mon, 25 Nov 2013 12:00:41 +0000 As we age, our bodies go through many changes that are […]

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As we age, our bodies go through many changes that are obvious for all to see. Our skin begins to wrinkle; our hair begins to turn grey. But as women, our bodies also go through a multitude of changes that are less obvious to the innocent observer, physical changes directly linked to our hormones. These symptoms can oftentimes be quite frustrating for a woman’s sexual health. As our hormone levels change, we begin to have vaginal dryness, a more difficult time achieving orgasm, and decreased libido. Understanding how your hormone levels impact your sex drive will enable you to shift gears from a sex life that’s sullen to one full of sizzle.


A Healthy Balance


Having a healthy balance of the hormones progesterone and estrogen is vital to having a balanced and healthy sex drive. In many women, having more estrogen than progesterone leads impacts their sexual health. Women with low progesterone can have many symptoms ranging from mental fogginess, premenstrual syndrome, increased irritability, an inability to sleep, higher anxiety, and a low sex drive.

For women who have more estrogen than progesterone, progesterone hormone therapy can help bring her symptoms back into balance. Progesterone is connected to many parts of a women’s overall health, as well as her sexual health. Having low progesterone levels can impact sleep, which in turn leads to affecting her mood, her sexual desire, and her ability to think clearly. Bringing these two hormones back into balance will help restore a woman’s sex drive.


The Power of Testosterone


When asked, most people will answer than testosterone is only a male hormone and estrogen is only in women. But, they could not be more wrong. Though they each play a dominant role in men and women, both estrogen and testosterone play a vital part in the sexual health and sex drive of men and women. Testosterone is considered the hormone of desire. It is imperative in the role of sexual health. It impacts sexual a person’s sexual desire, directs one’s sex drive, and directly impacts their sensitivity and responsiveness to sexual stimulation.

In women, testosterone can greatly enhance her sex drive, but it also plays a key role in many aspects of her health. Testosterone increases the thickness of her vaginal tissue, it can increase her energy, sharpen her memory, and help stabilize her mood. Testosterone also maintains her lean muscle mass and can help reduce body fat.  Just as testosterone and estrogen levels vary from person to person, the impact hormone levels play on a person is unique. Women with low testosterone levels may find that testosterone hormone therapy can do wonders and spice up their sex drive, increase libido, bring balance to emotions, and improving her musculature.


A Touch Hormone


Oxytocin is considered a touch hormone because its levels increase by skin-to-skin contact. By having higher levels of the oxytocin hormone, sex drive and sexual health are enhanced. High oxytocin levels improve foreplay and have been credited with women having multi-orgasm sex. Oxytocin levels can be increased naturally by lying naked with your partner, touching one another and stimulating the nipples. Physical touch not only increases relational bonding, but it also makes it easier to achieve orgasm and ultimately, creates a higher sex drive and a sizzling sex life.

Having a healthy balance of hormones is vital to overall health, but maintaining the hormone levels of estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, and oxytocin in women will not only help her emotions, moods, physical strength, ability to sleep, and energy. Keeping these hormones in balance will restore sizzle back to her sex drive and greatly enhance her sexual health.


- Dr. Shelly Messer


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3 Reasons Women Have Difficulty Achieving an Orgasm Mon, 18 Nov 2013 12:00:15 +0000 Sex is intended for pleasure, for both men and women. B […]

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Sex is intended for pleasure, for both men and women. But, some women believe that sexual pleasure, often measured by achieving an orgasm, should only be for the man to experience during intercourse. Nothing is further from the truth!

An orgasm is defined as “a feeling of intense physical pleasure and release of tension, accompanied by involuntary, rhythmic contractions of your pelvic floor muscles.” It certainly does not always look — or sound — like the famous scene from the movie “When Harry Met Sally.”  Some women actually do experience pelvic contractions or a quivering of the uterus during orgasm, but some do not.  Some women describe a sensation like fireworks all over their body during an orgasm, while others describe the feeling as a simple tingle. Just as it is true that women experience orgasms differently, orgasms can vary in intensity and frequency for every woman as well. Even more, the amount of stimulation necessary to trigger an orgasm is unique to every woman, too.

There are many women who have difficulty achieving an orgasm. Less than a third of women consistently have orgasms with sexual activity.  Some women have difficulty achieving orgasm or have long delays in reaching orgasm, even after ample sexual stimulation. When this is regularly the case, a woman may have anorgasmia.  Though many women with anorgasmia feel personal distress, it is actually a common condition, affecting more women than you might think.

Despite what Hollywood depicts in movies, achieving an orgasm is not simple or guaranteed. Many factors come into play when it comes to experiencing an orgasm. Here are some of the physical, emotional and psychological factors that may explain why women have difficulty achieving an orgasm.


1.  The Physical


There are many physical reasons why women may have difficulty achieving orgasm.  Some medical diseases such as diabetes and neurological diseases like multiple sclerosis can impact a woman’s sexual pleasure. Gynecologic surgeries such as cancer surgeries can also adversely impact a woman’s ability to have an orgasm. Many medications can also interrupt blood flow and sensation including blood pressure medications, antihistamines, and antidepressants including selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs). Drinking too much alcohol and taking street drugs can also play a role in preventing you from achieving orgasm.

As women age, normal hormonal changes can also adversely impact our sexuality. Decreasing estrogen levels leading up to menopause can decrease sensations in the clitoris, nipples and skin. Also, blood flow to the vagina and clitoris also may be impeded, which can delay or stop orgasm entirely.  Last, but certainly not least, a lack of orgasm is often related with other physical sexual concerns, such as uncomfortable or painful intercourse which could stem from other underlying physical conditions.


2.   The Psychological


There are many psychological reasons why women may have difficulty achieving orgasm.  Some of those reasons may include struggles with anxiety or depression.  Other psychological reasons could be tied with performance anxiety, stress, financial pressures, or stemming from deep-seeded cultural and religious beliefs.  Some women are afraid of getting pregnant, terrified of getting a sexually transmitted disease, or have emotions of embarrassment or intense guilt, believing they do not have permission to enjoy sexual experiences.


3.   The Relational


Another prevalent set of reasons why women may have difficulty achieving orgasm are relational. Though most people prefer not to admit it, couples who are experiencing problems outside of the bedroom tend to experience problems in the bedroom. Relational issues may include a lack of connection with your partner, unresolved conflicts or fights, poor communication of sexual needs and preferences, infidelity, or breach of trust. Having a relational disconnect can directly impact the ability of a woman to achieve orgasm.

If you are someone who rarely experiences an orgasm during sexual activity and you are concerned, please know you are not alone and your doctor can help. You may feel embarrassed to openly discuss your sex life with your OBGYN, but this topic is perfectly appropriate. Your doctor understands that a satisfying sex life is very important to a woman’s well being at every age and during every stage of life. In fact, your doctor may be able to diagnose a very treatable, underlying condition, or she may also counsel you to implement lifestyle changes, therapy, or a combination of treatments.



- Dr. Shelly Messer


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How Often Should We Have Sex? Mon, 11 Nov 2013 12:00:35 +0000 Most couples are not typically forthright in their will […]

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Most couples are not typically forthright in their willingness to talk about their sex lives.  As intimate as sex is in practice, we are equally as private when it comes to being a topic of open discussion. We don’t want to vulnerably share with others what happens in the intimacy of our bed, in the privacy of our homes. Though many men want their guy friends to believe they have sex several times a week, they don’t talk about it openly and honestly with other guys to actually know. Typically, neither do women. Because sex is a topic that is often seen as taboo, we’re unsure where to go for credible answers. Most of us are left wondering what exactly is the answer to how often should we be having sex.

“How often should we be having sex” may be the number one question I am asked by my patients. As simple of a question as it seems on the surface, it is not one with a straightforward answer. In fact, you can read articles by ten different doctors about this topic and many of them will have different numbers.

The Sex Stats

In his book, Size Matters, Harry Fisch discusses his research on how often people actually have sex. He says that couples under 30 years of age have sex on the average of twice a week. Conversely, for married couples ages 50-59, their frequency is about once per week.  According to another study conducted by David Schnarch, PhD of more than 20,000 couples, only 26% of couples say they are having sex once a week, but the majority of those polled said they only have sex once or twice a month… or less! Another study, printed in The University of Chicago Press about 10 years ago, reported that married couples are having sex about seven times a month, which is a little less than twice a week.

The Sex Reality

If you are reading the above stats and measuring your sex life against them, you have to remember that these numbers are averages. More importantly, you have to remember that just as every human being is different, no two relationships are the same. Many things influence how often a couple has sex. Some factors that can impact how frequently (or infrequently) a couple may have sex might be their age, their lifestyle, each partner’s health, each partner’s natural libido and, the quality of their overall relationship.

The truth is, how often you and your partner have sex needs to be a discussion and agreement between the two of you. Some couples are happy with having sex more frequently while others are completely content with less.  Satisfaction is really what it all boils down to. It’s not so much about how much sex you’re having, but whether you and your partner are happy with the sex you’re having. If either of you is unhappy with that number, you need to talk to find out what may be causing the disconnect.

The Sex Void

In 2008 report, CNN reported that 40 million Americans are stuck in sexless marriages, that is, having sex less than 10 times a year. Some of the reasons CNN attributed to there being lower sex frequency are:

  • Financial strain and the economy
  • Couples are too busy and too tired for sex
  • Medications that impede sexual desire
  • The easy access to Internet porn
  • The growing rate of obesity and other lifestyle issues that impair libido

Understandably, some of these external forces having a negative impact on our sex lives are unavoidable. However, when couples are not having sex, their relationships become vulnerable to resentment, detachment, and possibly infidelity. We have to stay focused on the imperative role sex plays in a healthy, committed relationship.  The most important thing you can do to help improve your sex life is to not forget to work on your relationship. Having healthy, open, and honest communication will not only lead to an emotional connection, but potentially a physical one as well.


- Shelly Messer


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9 Sex Drive Killers for Women Mon, 04 Nov 2013 12:00:48 +0000 Many things can affect a woman’s sex drive.  Ofte […]

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Many things can affect a woman’s sex drive.  Oftentimes, women just assume they aren’t supposed to have a high sex drive because of culture’s dominant message; men are the ones who are supposed to crave more sex. But, that’s simply not always true. Women should have a healthy sex drive, but many things can impact it. It can be very difficult to tell exactly causes women to have a diminished libido, but more often than not, it is reversible. To help identify what may be contributing to low libido in women, here are nine things that may be affecting your sex drive.


1.     Stress

Some people do many things well when they’re stressed. But, feeling sexy  isn’t usually one of them. Most of us feel stress at work, home, or in your relationships, but stress can have an impact your sex drive. Learning how to get a handle on your stress is important.  One place to begin is to find relaxing things you can do with your partner that will help your stress melt away. Have them give you a massage. Take a late night dip together in the spa or pool. Snuggle on the couch to watch a movie together. Whatever you choose, odds are after a little pampering, you will be more in the mood for sex.


2.     Partner Troubles

Having problems with your partner is another one of the top sex drive killers. For women, feeling close with their partner leads to intimacy, which typically leads to sexual desire. But we tend for forget that intimacy is more than just sex. If your sex life has taken a downturn, you should make it a point to try spending more non-sexual time together, just the two of you. When we fight, have poor communication, feel betrayed, or have trust issues, craving sexual intimacy is often the last thing on our mind. So, to help find your sex drive, find ways to express love toward your partner without having sex. As troubles with your partner begin to fade, the closer you will become- emotionally and physically.


3.     Alcohol

Having an alcoholic drink may make you feel more ready for sex. But drinking too much alcohol can actually lower your libido, numbing your sex drive.  Conversely, being drunk can be a turn-off for your partner and a sex drive killer for both of you. So, the next time you’re having a drink, be aware that alcohol can actually lower your sex drive.


4.     Too Little Sleep

If your sex drive is gone, you may want to check your bedtime. Odds are you are not sleeping enough.  Do you go to bed too late or get up too early? Do you have difficulty falling or staying asleep, or a sleep disorder like sleep apnea? Very simply, anything that interferes with a good night’s rest will certainly have an impact on your sex drive.


5.     Having Kids

You don’t lose your sex drive once you become a parent. But, you do lose some of the time you once had to yourselves as children demand much of your time and energy. As mentioned above, lack of sleep impacts your sex drive, so if you’re a new parent, the sleep you’re not getting is probably diminishing your sex drive. But find comfort;  those sleepless nights will most likely be for only a season.


6.     Medication

Some medications such as antidepressants, blood pressure medications, some birth control pills, chemotherapy, and anti-HIV drugs can impact your sex drive.  Sometimes, changing medications or dosages may help. Be sure to talk with your doctor before stopping or adjusting medications on your own.  You should also mention it to your doctor if your sex drive diminishes soon after you begin taking a new medication.


7.     Poor Body Image

Poor self-image may be the worst offender for killing a woman’s sex drive, with weight issues topping the list.  It is easier to feel sexy if you like how you look.  If you are one of the women who prefers the lights are out and don’t feel comfortable undressing in front of your partner, your poor body image may be affecting your sex drive.

Work on accepting your body as it is today, even if you’re working to get in shape.  The hormones your body produces when you’re exercising will help stimulate your sex drive.  Exercising will help improve your self-esteem as you begin seeing the payoff of your work. We offer customized plans for medical weight loss in our Forever Fit by MD programs, so contact your doctor today for help.


8.     Depression

Being depressed can turn off any form of pleasure in many areas of your life, including sex.  Depression is a serious condition that will impact all areas of your life, so please contact your doctor immediately to get the help you need. If you just recently had a baby, you may be suffering from postpartum depression, a common condition for postnatal women, but a serious condition if left untreated.  If you are on depression medication, tell your doctor if your sex drive is low, since some depression drugs can lower sex drive.


9.     Menopause

For many women, sex drive diminishes around menopause. That’s partly because of menopausal symptoms such as vaginal dryness and pain during sex. But every woman is different. It is very possible to have a great sex life after menopause by taking the time to invest in your relationship with your partner, work on your self-esteem, and pay attention to your overall health. If your sex life has been negatively impacted by menopause, please contact your doctor today. We have many treatment options available to help your sex drive go from painful to pleasurable.


- Dr. Shelly Messer


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Remember the Romance: Sexy Texts Sat, 26 Oct 2013 18:00:02 +0000 Has the spark begun to fade in your relationship? Or, a […]

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Has the spark begun to fade in your relationship? Or, are you looking for something new to fan the flame of romance between you and your partner? In the high-paced lifestyles of this day in age, we have to be intentional to keep the romance in our relationship.

Most of us have much more to do on our daily task list than we are ever able to cross off as complete.  We spend the majority of the day rushing from place to place, dealing with issue after issue at work, and then come home to countless domestic duties. After a long exhausting day, for most women, all we really want to do at the end of the day is climb into bed and fall fast asleep. The thought of staying awake, even for just a few extra minutes, is not appealing.  Before we know it, sex begins to fade far from our mind.  When that happens and you can’t recall the last time you and your partner had sex, it’s time to take a step back and remember the romance.

With the rise of the smartphone era, most of us send and receive countless text messages every day.  So, why not send a sexy test to your partner during the day? If it catches them completely off guard, it’s almost guaranteed that a simple sexy text exchange will increase anticipation for both of you by day, leading to spicy romance that night.

So, if you’re looking to remember the romance with your partner, here are some sexy text message ideas you can choose from to use. 

1.  Meet me at home in an hour. Clothing optional.

2.   I know you’re stopping by the gym, but save some energy for the workout I have planned for you later.

3.   I’m trying on bras, but I think I need a second opinion.

4.   I’m not wearing any underwear.

5.   Picked up a surprise for after the kids go to sleep. I think we need to move up their bedtime for tonight.

6.   This text is a gift certificate for one move of your choice tonight. Present it at the door.

7.   It’s cold today. I think I need you to warm me up when you get home.

8.   Need a break? I’m right outside your office building.

9.   I had a stressful day. Want to help me unwind?

10.  Let’s order take out tonight. I’m dessert.

11.  Got a new toy today. Let’s play.

12.  I’m wearing that tight dress you love…with nothing underneath.

13.  I’ve been thinking about you all day. It’s not innocent.You know that thing I do that drives you crazy? I wish I could do it to you right now.

We do not ever recommend sending photos or videos via text message. Words can be a much more evocative tool, anyway.  Also, be sure to double-check that the person you’ve typed the message to is your partner before pressing send! Accidentally sending sexy messages to a client or a friend might make for some awkward encounters afterwards!  So, as you remember the romance and bring back the spark in your relationship, select a text, send it to your partner, and see where it leads tonight!
- Dr. Shelly Messer


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The Signs and Symptoms of Vaginal Atrophy Mon, 21 Oct 2013 15:06:29 +0000 Most people do not typically spend much time thinking a […]

The post The Signs and Symptoms of Vaginal Atrophy appeared first on Va Va Voom!.

Most people do not typically spend much time thinking about parts of their bodies until there is a problem. You don’t realize how much you walk each day until your foot or knee hurts. You don’t realize how much you use that little part at the end of your pinky finger until it is sore. For a woman, the same is true about her vagina.  Most women don’t pay attention to their vagina until symptoms force them to. Because it is a part of our body we as women hold to be personal, we tend to keep information about any out of the ordinary symptoms we’re having private as well. If you just had a baby or if you’ve gone through menopause and you’re having vaginal pain, you could be experiencing vaginal atrophy.

The Cause

Vaginal atrophy, also called atrophic vaginitis, is the thinning, drying, and inflammation of the vaginal walls due to the decrease in the amount of estrogen.  Lower estrogen levels lead to your vaginal tissues becoming thinner, drier, less elastic, and more fragile. Vaginal atrophy occurs most often after menopause, but it can also develop during breastfeeding, after surgical removal of both ovaries, after pelvic radiation or chemotherapy for cancer, or as a side effect of hormonal treatment for breast cancer.

Before menopause, the estrogen levels in a woman’s bloodstream keeps the skin of the vagina healthy and stimulates vaginal secretions. After menopause, when the ovaries stop making estrogen, the walls of the vagina become thin and vaginal secretions decrease. Statistics show that nearly half of postmenopausal women experience vaginal atrophy, although only a small amount of them will ever tell their doctor.

If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, you may be experiencing vaginal atrophy:

  • Vaginal dryness
  • Vaginal burning
  • Vaginal discharge
  • Genital itching
  • Burning with urination
  • Urgency with urination
  • More urinary tract infections
  • Urinary incontinence
  • Light bleeding after intercourse
  • Discomfort with intercourse
  • Decreased vaginal lubrication during sexual activity
  • Shortening and tightening of the vaginal canal

Statistics show that nearly half of postmenopausal women experience vaginal atrophy, although only a small amount of them will ever tell their doctor.

When to see a doctor

Vaginal atrophy is treatable. Make an appointment to see your doctor if intercourse is still painful despite using an over the counter vaginal lubricant. We carry many different options in our office, such as Sliquid Satin, a product perfectly suited for vaginal atrophy.  Also make an appointment to see your physician if you have vaginal symptoms, such as unusual bleeding, discharge, burning, or soreness.

Reduced estrogen levels result in changes to your body, but it doesn’t mean you have to live with the discomfort of vaginal atrophy. Ignoring the symptoms will not cause them to go away.  Not only will you be prolonging how long you experience vaginal atrophy symptoms, your sexual health will suffer as well if pain and discomfort prevent you from enjoying it. Many women resign themselves to endure the symptoms because they are too embarrassed to make an appointment and discuss them with their doctor. Don’t let that be you.


- Dr. Shelly Messer


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